My search for work as a comedy writer keeps hitting dead ends. I recently registered with online job sites “Monster” and “Indeed. The algorithms they use spit out jobs based on my keywords, “Comedy” & “Writer,” that are funnier than most anything I’ve written. Here is a sampling of some…

DIVORCE + TIME = COMEDY? — My first marriage, a.k.a., “The Episode,” was a typical starter marriage — like in the ’60s when my parents bought a sweet little “starter” home. But in five years they outgrew it and moved on to bigger and better things. My first marriage started off sweet, but in five years…

Are aging women the new “Mean Girls?” — How sweet if this darling girl grew into a mature adult woman who applauded other mature adult women who choose to age gracefully? She won’t. And, she’s okay with that. Here she is in high school — whispering mean girl b.s. about the blonde trying to escape to a Mathletes…

Why orange is my favorite color — I never thought I’d wear a prison jumpsuit. But on June 4, 2003, I was suddenly in the market for one. I was in the Denver airport waiting for my flight to Los Angeles when my agent, Andrew, called. “I’m out of your demos. I need one ASAP.” “Sure, I’ll…

A tit-illating tale — Every year I reschedule my annual gyno exam because I hate getting weighed — the first thing they do. And, by my 3rd rescheduling attempt I’m told, “we can’t refill your Ambien prescription without a checkup.” Damn. So, I suck up my pride, suck in my gut and go. Nurse…

Life on the planet of me, myself, and why just I? — In high school, teens are defined by their generation’s cliques which in my day were the Jocks, Geeks, Farrah Hair Girls, and Stoners like this guy above- Bud Baker. Bud dropped out at 16 and became a Silicon Valley billionaire. I imagine today’s Gen Z cliques include Influencers, Activists, Baristas…

My Cranky Christmas Rant At least a dozen people I dearly love have birthdays during the holidays. In order to keep their one special day “special” they expect birthday gifts, cards, parties and attention. Of course, they deserve all of that. So I buy gifts, cards, throw parties and lavish them with attention —…

You Might Not Have Time for Regret but You Sure Have Time for Botox Prolific funny guy, Larry Lambert, wrote a guide on how to age gracefully, or not, at 60, which I thought, leaned more toward men. …

Cute Won’t Help You This Time, Stanley — Our beloved Stanley, a wannabe ferocious mutt, is a great watchdog. He barks at everything that moves which is only not annoying when you’re not at home. Stanley barks at the usual suspects: the mailman, Amazon’s (daily) deliveries, sirens, and the vacuum cleaner. He also barks at shadows, the washing…